I want to belive in the good

But sometimes it is hard. I realise he has someone else. There is no room for me. Then I start thinking, there never were. Not even the smallest chance that we could have been something. 

So I end up eating chocolade and sinking deeper in my own Wonderland. A hole other world where you don't even exist. Where is no drama beacuse other people. No relationships, no frindsihps, no other humans. Just me. I start sinking deeper and deeper and wish I had some good red wine. 

But because I don't I am just going to swirl on my toughts and sadness. I am not even hopeing someone would care because I know no-one will. So I let it be and paint my lips red and smile. That's how we do it in my world. Fake it. Fake the happines and maybe one day we will find the reall happiness.