My hair is a mess

My hair is a mess, my mind is mush, my ideas don't work and I'm breaking down. 

Nothing works, everything is in the shadows.

Life goes on and on but I stad still. 

I'm tired. 

Tired as human can be. 

Maybe tomorrow.

Maybe never. 

I stand still. 

I won't move. 

So I won't die. 

Neither I can not live. 

'Cause I stand still.

I'm lost. 

I'm lost. 

Don't know how many times I have been lost. 

But I am again lost. 

I don't need help. 

I will just stay the same way that I has always been. 

Thank you. 

There is light somewhere. 

I hope my light is shining on someone who is sweet and nice. 

Someone who can appreciate it. 

Someone who values my light. 

Even tought it is borrowed. 

And I will take it back. 

Enjoy now. 

All that I ask is enjoy. 

The last light of summer

It's been raining for couple of days. Even tough I love rain I have to admit that it has its problems. For example takeing pics. Rainy pics are beutifull but well,I don't want my camera to get wet. Luckily the day I went to the Town to see my friend was a quite warm and rain stopped for a while, so after coffe we decided to go and take some pics. And I must say I have never been good at takeing pics, nor being in them... What is a bit awkward time to time. Suprisingly my friend managed to took couple pics of me, in what I don't look compleatly a mess. So I am going to share them with you guys. Also you can see my new skirt, which I'm in love with!

For a long time I have been more of a skirt girl. When I was at 8th grade I didn't wear even once jeans or trousers to school. I just feel so much comfortable in skirts and dresses. They are cute and easy to wear. I felt like all jeans were on my way. I couldn't move and also for some reason I looked shorter that I really was. 

When I wear skirt or dress I feel more like me. I like how cute they are and I can wear socks and pantyhoses that are patterned. Also higheels look better (to my eyes) with a skirt. And 'cause I'm 157,5cm tall I like higheels, though I can't wear them as often as I used to do because I have to drive a car. I could take heels with me but sometimes it feels too much trouble to start chanceing shoes only for coffee so...

I am shy person to share photos of me, because I have never been really photogenetic. I always do something weird in the pic or I look afful. I can not look beautifull like fashion bloggers or gorgeus like makeup bloggers. It's just me. A small little girl who is a bit goofy. 

But finally I am okey with it. I am me, and me is I. I look like this at the photos and you don't  have to be a model-like, because you are not a model. You can have fun and enjoy of being yourself. I don't care what people will think about my appearance. I am happy with myself and that's all that matters. It makes me happy to share these photos with you. I am finally enought confident to do so.

Skirt- Vila/ shirt -Only/ Knit -Vero Moda/ Socks -H&M

Huge thanks and a million hugs to my frind who took these!
With love

-Liisa

I think I have gone mad

“Have I gone mad?

I'm afraid so, but let me tell you something, the best people usualy are.”

My toughts at the moment. I never have liked Summer that much. I have always been the Autumn girl. Golden leafs, firered forest, chrispy air, rain... list goes on and on. I like it when it's a bit coolder, about 14-18° C. That is perfect weather when the sun is shining. Though I do really love rain as well. 

So I don't know what happend to me, I just realised how much I miss Summer. Not that much, but still I miss it. I don't kind of know why. And it is a bit odd. Maybe because I was going trough my old photos from the past summer or that I have been feeling down lately? Maybe. maybe not. 

Now I just have to start enjoying the Autumn! I really love dressing up in Autumn but now when I don't go to school or don't have work. (I'm on a gapyear...) I don't have to dress up or do my make up... Basically I just lay on the sofa on my sweats and hair up on a bun so, yeah. Maybe that is the reason why I'm feeling bit down. 

Luckily I'm going to meet my friend next week! And next weeks end there is a city happening. Looking for to that too! Maybe I'll look like aa human next week. 

Oh, here is my last summer outfit: I't started to be a little bit no-so-hot so I wore a shirt on a croptop with a skirt. I know my hair looks affuly yellow and thin I don't know what was wrong with it that day. 

Would you?

Would you run away with me if I'd ask you to?

Would you hold my head when it's too heavy for me to carry?

Would you see my cry trough my smile?

Would you hold me close when I would try to run away from you 'cause I got scared? 

By the fact that you are there

By the fact that I care too much of your heart

By the fact that I don't see myself as a perfect for you

By the fact that I don't understand happines

Could you teach me to be happy?

Could you tell me every morning there is nothing to worry about?

Could you hate me silently when I act stuppid?

Could you then forgive me? 

I don't want to hurt you

I don't want to see you sad

I don't want to end up broken

I don't want to have you for only end up loseing you

Because of all that I choose to be alone

Because I see it is the most simple way

Beacause I am scared of love

Because we live in different placeses and times

-Liisa- 

I want to belive in the good

But sometimes it is hard. I realise he has someone else. There is no room for me. Then I start thinking, there never were. Not even the smallest chance that we could have been something. 

So I end up eating chocolade and sinking deeper in my own Wonderland. A hole other world where you don't even exist. Where is no drama beacuse other people. No relationships, no frindsihps, no other humans. Just me. I start sinking deeper and deeper and wish I had some good red wine. 

But because I don't I am just going to swirl on my toughts and sadness. I am not even hopeing someone would care because I know no-one will. So I let it be and paint my lips red and smile. That's how we do it in my world. Fake it. Fake the happines and maybe one day we will find the reall happiness.