My hair is a mess

My hair is a mess, my mind is mush, my ideas don't work and I'm breaking down. 

Nothing works, everything is in the shadows.

Life goes on and on but I stad still. 

I'm tired. 

Tired as human can be. 

Maybe tomorrow.

Maybe never. 

I stand still. 

I won't move. 

So I won't die. 

Neither I can not live. 

'Cause I stand still.

I'm lost. 

I'm lost. 

Don't know how many times I have been lost. 

But I am again lost. 

I don't need help. 

I will just stay the same way that I has always been. 

Thank you. 

There is light somewhere. 

I hope my light is shining on someone who is sweet and nice. 

Someone who can appreciate it. 

Someone who values my light. 

Even tought it is borrowed. 

And I will take it back. 

Enjoy now. 

All that I ask is enjoy. 

Autumn lazyness

I guess I have been hanging a lot more on Tumblr lately and haven't been posting anything in this blog. I think I have run out of things to say. I don't want to write about nothing. I really like to post about things I really have something to say about. And since the Autumn came I have been faceing the Autumn blue. It is pretty common here in Finland, because the lack of light. 

Autumn is the time of the year when it rains here. And almost all the time the sky is grey. Though the trees are turning gold and red and yeallow and orange. Luckily there are days when the sun comes out and you can see all the colours on their rightfull magnificent glory. 

But yes, even I love Autumn more than any of the other seasons it makes me feel blue. And when I'm feeling blue I don't have the power to do anything at all. All I do is lay on the bed or sofa. I have a lot to do, but no the energy for it. See the problem? 

I should go to university's library, get new shorts for my dance class, get my nails done (at the moment I have the rock look... black all most gone) make some philosophy essays and what else? Get my self together I guess. 

Let's hope I can pull myself together and do the stuff! Wish me luck! 

Lot's of hugs to everyone out there! 

13 facts about me

Hey you! How are you? It has been a while since I wrote something. Things just have got a bit hectic lately. Open uni, trying to see friends, sorting my life and all that. And then I really haven't done anything, I just have been lieing on sofa watching teleision. But let's stop the chitchat and move to those 13 facts about me, shall we? 

1. I'm from Finland 
2. I love Autumn
3. I listen mostly old rock
4. I'm a bit crazy
5. I love bakeing
6. I have travelled to 14 different countries
7. I live by a lake
8. I love shoes
9. And cars
10. I am not a morning person by any means
11. I have danced jazz-dance 4 years now(started fifth now)
12. I would love to live in Scotland
13. Twitter is my life at the moment  

Could we dance in the rain?

It is one of the only things I am good at. Runin gout of the house when it starts raining and thundering. That's me. Runing into cold rain, letting the rain wash all over me. I love how messy my hair gets, how cold my feet goes and especially the smell of the rain that sticks on your skin. Could it get any better? 

Oh well, sometimes you have to do goofy things. But to do goofy things you must do smart things do, I guess... Lately I have been trying to get my life in order. I made a pointment to the police station to get my new passport ( I want to go to traveling SO BADLY!!) I entered to "free" university, and what else? I'm sure I hade more... oh, never mind if I can't remember.

As I said I entered "free" uni, which means that I didn't get any university place when I first applied at Spring. But luckily there is these "free" (you have to pay for them...) unis, where you can study and get points for the next time you aply for some uni. So here I am starting to study Philosophy on my own. Lightly scared...

So that's what is up with me. Tomorrow to the Town once again, because those "adult stuff". Oh, the third thing was a carschool... great. Second part of it (basically if you want to study anything here in Finland it pretty sure is friking hard and complicated...) 

I hope I have time to get lunch at some point tomorrow! I seem to have a very busy day ahead of me. 

The last light of summer

It's been raining for couple of days. Even tough I love rain I have to admit that it has its problems. For example takeing pics. Rainy pics are beutifull but well,I don't want my camera to get wet. Luckily the day I went to the Town to see my friend was a quite warm and rain stopped for a while, so after coffe we decided to go and take some pics. And I must say I have never been good at takeing pics, nor being in them... What is a bit awkward time to time. Suprisingly my friend managed to took couple pics of me, in what I don't look compleatly a mess. So I am going to share them with you guys. Also you can see my new skirt, which I'm in love with!

For a long time I have been more of a skirt girl. When I was at 8th grade I didn't wear even once jeans or trousers to school. I just feel so much comfortable in skirts and dresses. They are cute and easy to wear. I felt like all jeans were on my way. I couldn't move and also for some reason I looked shorter that I really was. 

When I wear skirt or dress I feel more like me. I like how cute they are and I can wear socks and pantyhoses that are patterned. Also higheels look better (to my eyes) with a skirt. And 'cause I'm 157,5cm tall I like higheels, though I can't wear them as often as I used to do because I have to drive a car. I could take heels with me but sometimes it feels too much trouble to start chanceing shoes only for coffee so...

I am shy person to share photos of me, because I have never been really photogenetic. I always do something weird in the pic or I look afful. I can not look beautifull like fashion bloggers or gorgeus like makeup bloggers. It's just me. A small little girl who is a bit goofy. 

But finally I am okey with it. I am me, and me is I. I look like this at the photos and you don't  have to be a model-like, because you are not a model. You can have fun and enjoy of being yourself. I don't care what people will think about my appearance. I am happy with myself and that's all that matters. It makes me happy to share these photos with you. I am finally enought confident to do so.

Skirt- Vila/ shirt -Only/ Knit -Vero Moda/ Socks -H&M

Huge thanks and a million hugs to my frind who took these!
With love

-Liisa

That's what friends are for

I am not a morning person by any means. I can't get up before 12pm, or at least I will need two to three cups of coffee. I hate everybody at mornings and I probably will throw my coffee mug to the wall if anyone asks me anything. That's just who I am. 

Anyways, last week when I was at Town I called my friend and asked  if she would like to go a coffee with me. Well she sadly wasn't in the Town so I asked her to call me when she would be. And she told me that she would be on the Town at next(this)week and give me a message/call. 

Well... at 08:13am Monday morning I got a text message. And may I say my ringtone is not the most quiet one. So I was woken by my friend who told me that she was on the Town and we could meet on Tuestday. I asked her if she gould meet me today, because well, I was wide awake and had nothing to do.

My breakfast nomnom! Find it in instagram!

We then met at one of my favourite coffee shops and I had a huge Latte and croissant and appelpie. It was so nice to see my friend again. Even though she woke me up waywayway too early and I had to rush to shower and get ready like in a one and half hours... Which is quite achievement for me. 

I wore my new jeans from Vila(pieces) bag and top are from Monki. I move my Zeepra bag!

She is really the only person I have ever met who can wake me up before 12pm and I won't be mad and I can actually function. She have done it once before when she was wisiting me. I don't know how that girl does it, but she does it. One of my soulsisters<3

I am a huge fan of rings and bracelets. I had small rings as well on, though you can't see them in the pic..

Friends are the one people I can be nice to at mornings before 12pm. I can smile and nod or shake my head. And thats a lot! I may be really quiet at mornings around my friends but it is mostly because I'm still tired and trying not to say anything mean or stuppid. 

It is amazing how great friends I hae. I am really thankfull of my friends. Even some of them have now movend all over Finland to study I still talk with them and I am also going to visit one of them in Setemper. Can't wait for that! 

Also I am going to Town again tomorrow to see one of my friends, she actually doesn't live here anymore so it is so nice to see her. Looking forward for that!

Here is a song I played non-stop while makeing this post! Hope you like it, I just found this artist today and already in Love!

I think I have gone mad

“Have I gone mad?

I'm afraid so, but let me tell you something, the best people usualy are.”

My toughts at the moment. I never have liked Summer that much. I have always been the Autumn girl. Golden leafs, firered forest, chrispy air, rain... list goes on and on. I like it when it's a bit coolder, about 14-18° C. That is perfect weather when the sun is shining. Though I do really love rain as well. 

So I don't know what happend to me, I just realised how much I miss Summer. Not that much, but still I miss it. I don't kind of know why. And it is a bit odd. Maybe because I was going trough my old photos from the past summer or that I have been feeling down lately? Maybe. maybe not. 

Now I just have to start enjoying the Autumn! I really love dressing up in Autumn but now when I don't go to school or don't have work. (I'm on a gapyear...) I don't have to dress up or do my make up... Basically I just lay on the sofa on my sweats and hair up on a bun so, yeah. Maybe that is the reason why I'm feeling bit down. 

Luckily I'm going to meet my friend next week! And next weeks end there is a city happening. Looking for to that too! Maybe I'll look like aa human next week. 

Oh, here is my last summer outfit: I't started to be a little bit no-so-hot so I wore a shirt on a croptop with a skirt. I know my hair looks affuly yellow and thin I don't know what was wrong with it that day. 

Would you?

Would you run away with me if I'd ask you to?

Would you hold my head when it's too heavy for me to carry?

Would you see my cry trough my smile?

Would you hold me close when I would try to run away from you 'cause I got scared? 

By the fact that you are there

By the fact that I care too much of your heart

By the fact that I don't see myself as a perfect for you

By the fact that I don't understand happines

Could you teach me to be happy?

Could you tell me every morning there is nothing to worry about?

Could you hate me silently when I act stuppid?

Could you then forgive me? 

I don't want to hurt you

I don't want to see you sad

I don't want to end up broken

I don't want to have you for only end up loseing you

Because of all that I choose to be alone

Because I see it is the most simple way

Beacause I am scared of love

Because we live in different placeses and times

-Liisa- 

I want to belive in the good

But sometimes it is hard. I realise he has someone else. There is no room for me. Then I start thinking, there never were. Not even the smallest chance that we could have been something. 

So I end up eating chocolade and sinking deeper in my own Wonderland. A hole other world where you don't even exist. Where is no drama beacuse other people. No relationships, no frindsihps, no other humans. Just me. I start sinking deeper and deeper and wish I had some good red wine. 

But because I don't I am just going to swirl on my toughts and sadness. I am not even hopeing someone would care because I know no-one will. So I let it be and paint my lips red and smile. That's how we do it in my world. Fake it. Fake the happines and maybe one day we will find the reall happiness.

 

Autumn is coming, feeling blue?

When the Autumn comes trees starts to turn into red and gold you may start feeling a bit blue. Summer is gone, warm air turns into crispy and bittersweet. You need jacket and scarf when you go out and you have to say bye-bye to cute ballerinas. I have noticed that some people really gets sad when the Autumn comes. 

I personally love Autumn to be honest. It is probably my favorite season of all. All the warm clothes and beautiful colours in trees, dark nights, good books and hot chocolade. Ah could it get any better? I guess not. I basically wanted to share some of my favourite things and tips about Autumn. And how to help the blue feeling. 

When the Autumn comes I rearrange my clothes and check do I need something. These two days that has gone by I have been shopping. A lot! (in my case, I'm not so huge fan of shopping...) I have bought two(!) pair of jeaans, skirt, a dress, top, shirt, sweatshirt, makeup brushes and a eye shadow, braslets and small rings and also a ball of yarn. I can tell it is a lot for me. 

First tip is about clothes: When the cold weathers come, hide all your summer clothings on the back of your wardrope. Out of sight, out of mind. If you leave them lying around in your room and closet you will just remember those warm summer days when you wore your favourite shorts or croptop. But when you have all your warm, comfy, sweatshirts and cardigans on top you will feel much happier.  

Also in Autumn I have this huge desire of tea, chocolade, books and knitting. The best thing if you can get all of them at the sametime. (Yep, I have done it) I bought this supper cute red ball of year, only to realise that I don't have knitting needls. Silly me, oh well I just have to ask them from my mom. 

Tip number two: Do what you love. Or try something new. Don't burry yourself into the sadness. Get up and do a nice little walk and take some pretty photos on the way. When you get back home feeling bit chilly it is nice to make cup of hot chocolade and read a good book. Here is three good books you should read: The Hobbit, The Perks Of Being a Wallflower and The Picture Of Dorian Grey. 

Tip number three: Decorate your room. Find some nice warm blanket, so you can wrap it around you if you are feeling cold. Buy some candles(make sure that they are in safe place while useing them). If your room is dark (no wondows etc.) Get some extra lights. Hang up some pictures that makes you smile. 

There are a lots of thing to get your spirit up when it comes to Winter/ Autumn depression. One simple way to the end. Buy and eat chocolate and hug someone.  

Sometimes I wonder...

How can I feel this empty. Even though I had a good mornig, nice day and felt pretty( what is not normal to me). Then I get home and something happens. I just shut down. I don't feel doing anything. Nothing makes me happy. I just stare at the wall. Or in this case my laptops screen.

I had so many thing I ment to do. Upload pictures for this blog. Do my nails(fix them) Clean my room, read, update all my twitter, instagram etc. But no, absolutely no. Not gonna happen. Don't know why but I feel bit down.

When ever I have thins kind of feeling I really wish I had someone to cuddle with... But, yeah what can you do? Maybe I just clos emy laptop and try to do something?

The start of the journey

Hey all! 

So yeas, this is the very first post on this blog. I am not new in the blog world but this is new blog for me. I felt like trying to keep on with my english. And because I live in Finland I can't really talk english with anyone so I figured out why I souldn't write in english then? Well here we go.

I know how crappy my english is but only way to get it better is useing it, right? I should also read blogs in english so if you have a blog that is in english feel free to link it, or if you know some really good english blogs you can link them as well. I would be so greatfull of that. 

Okey, I am reading what I just wrote... Is my english really that bad? I mean I think I got the point in the texst but it is quite uncomfortable to read. Oh gosh. I am sorry about that. At least I know what to do tomorrow. I'm going to library and borrow some english school books or something.

Also I have a ptoject that I am happy to start and share with you guys! I have The Hobbit in english and I am going to read it! I hava started the book like five times but never finnished it. I have red it in finnish though. I love books and especially fantacy. 

I think it is good to stop here and wish you all a nice day/night wever you are from.

“It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to.”

- J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings -